The Optimistic Realist
In the 1980s, Chris Gardner was a struggling salesman in San Francisco. A single father on the brink of homelessness, Chris slept in shelters and subway bathrooms while facing countless rejections. He eventually took an unpaid internship at the brokerage firm Dean Witter Reynolds… this might sounds familiar – his memoir was made into the popular movie, The Pursuit of Happyness.
The sales gig wasn’t working for him, reportedly bringing in $300-400 per month, but the internship was unpaid. He knew that where he was wasn’t where he wanted to be, so he bet on himself, against odds that would have been easy to dub “insurmountable”.
In his words, he focused on what, within a chaotic situation, was under his control. He recalled his grandmother’s wisdom that “the cavalry isn’t coming” and focused on his personal efforts, especially when the climb felt steep. He was practicing cognitive reframing, tagging in a growth mindset, exhibiting grit and resilience and, underneath it all… optimism. He believed that there was another side to his dire situation and the only way to get there was to keep going. He had hope.
It paid off. On the other side of that highly competitive internship was a full-time position with the firm. After learning the ropes, he started his own firm, Gardner Rich, which he eventually sold in a multi-million dollar deal. In 2006 he founded Gardner International Holdings – his story is told worldwide as the epitome of entrepreneurial success. Worth noting that, among many philanthropic efforts, Chris has helped fund a $50 million project to create affordable housing and employment opportunities for the San Francisco homeless. Paying it forward.
Sometimes, you just have to endure a moment. In those times, that small ember of instinct that keeps you going… that’s optimism. Feed it.
Optimism is Not the Enemy of Realism
Let’s consider the idea that there are objective truths in the world. If something can be measured, weighed, quantified, and recorded, we would call that objective data. Many of the components of our existence can be measured in objective ways – this data could be classified as ‘fact’.
It was an observable and quantifiable fact that Chris Garner was asleep on the bathroom floor of a San Francisco train station at one point – if, in that moment, he were to say out loud that he believed that he would be a millionaire many times over, that would have sounded naïve. I get it.
To be fair, he probably would not have said “I’m going to be rich” that night. But he might have said “I’m going to make it to tomorrow”. And the next day he might have said “I need to try something different” or “I need to think bigger” or “I am going to create a better future for me and my family” even though every bit of “real” data from his lived experience might have nudged him toward pessimism. That’s not naïve, that’s an essential ingredient for change.
The Data/Filter Relationship Graph, (Davis, 2025)
The graph above is absent of nuance. In reality, those categories (Criticism, Cynicism, Faith, and Confidence) occur in degrees, rather than broad and concrete classifications. The graph serves as an initial guideline for some deeper theory – my hope is that it will serve as a solid starting point, a way to gauge where we might be in a given moment. When I walk people through the confidence graph, big takeaways often include:
· Noting that the degree of objective data (indicating that what’s occurring is “real”) is distinct from the filter through which we engage with it.
· Data collected from the observable and measurable world is not inherently good or bad, though it can certainly play a role in the disposition of the observer.
· Pessimism and Optimism are not feelings, but filters. Those filters are influenced by feelings, but they also play a role in creating feeling and emotion relative to the event.
One can feel disappointed or frustrated with the objective world – that would not indicate pessimism. Seeing data through a pessimistic filter would suggest that, in a moment of frustration, there is nothing to be done, that one is subject to the constraints of their negative experience. Seeing the same data through an optimistic filter does not mean that they are happy about a disappointing situation, but that they believe there is some degree of agency in how they will navigate it.
If you spill coffee on your work shirt (a real piece of data), maintaining optimism does not mean you will be pleased with the stain. It means that you believe that you can successfully pilot the situation. Imagine two potential thought pathways in the spilled coffee example:
Through a pessimistic lens, one’s thoughts might go to the cost of the shirt, wasted, convinced that there’s no way to get the stain out; this might make you late to a meeting, what a s*itty way to start the day; I’m such a clutz.
Through an optimistic lens, thoughts might include the idea that “well, that sucks.” You might still wonder if the stain will come out, but thoughts trend toward solutions – I’ll toss this in the wash and grab the blue shirt from the closet; if I’m behind, I’ll send a message to the folks in my meeting, hope they understand; I can figure this out.
I’m not worried about, and certainly not judgmental of, people who fall to either end of the ‘filter’ axis. I am interested in how the situation feels for them, and how effectively they are able to navigate it. From my experience, those who lean toward pessimism feel as though they are doing a good job predicting hurdles and navigating challenges, but in reality, they tend to belabor situations with unnecessary, fear-based predictions. If this sounds like you, don’t worry! Recognizing where you land on the graph in a given moment should provide visibility, ownership, and the first step in the path to something better. It should not create judgment. And yes, this is easier said than done. But it deserves to be recognized.
Even the feeling you are having right now, as you read this, or when you first looked at the graph, should tell you something.
One bit of feedback I’ll get when reviewing these ideas for the first time is something to the extent of, “isn’t that a bit naïve?” Naïve is an interesting term. The definition, as an adjective, refers to one who shows a lack of experience, wisdom, or judgement. Colloquially, we have come to associate this with child-like ignorance, positive but lacking sophistication. While the “optimistic realist” ideas might appear naïve at first glance, they are far from it. Not only are they research-based and battle-tested, but they push back on the idea that naivety has anything to do with optimism or pessimism. In the absence of data, experience, or wisdom, we have our filter. Zero data is zero data. It has no flavor. We add meaning to it, through prediction and assumptions based on personal histories. But we still have, even in what might seem to be dire straits, a flicker of agency in the form of optimism.
This deliberate kindling of “hope” or “faith” can feel good, yes. It can also influence how we engage with situations where there is no data, or the data doesn’t look promising.
Let’s be extra clear on this: as a matter of ethics and accuracy, know that character traits – aka social emotional learning (SEL) skills – can be overstated. Deliberate cultivation of mindset is essential, but cannot be expected to solve all of one’s problems. Research-based mindsets like “grit” have made headlines for misapplication – this is something that thoughtful people should also be in tune with. None of the SEL qualities that have longitudinal benefits, optimism included, should be considered a “magic pill” to alleviate all concerns. Developing grit in young students, for example, is not sufficient to overcome environmental factors like poverty or crime; students in the south side of Chicago cannot be “taught grit” to overcome the broken window of a classroom in winter. Environmental challenges matter. And for the moments when environmental challenges are outside of our control, the state of the individual entering that environment becomes the primary variable.
If two people step out into wintry weather – the same environment with the same objective challenges – their relative steadiness will impact how they experience the situation. It is one component of the complicated world in which we live. It is the component over which we hold the greatest degree of agency. Where the pessimist might turn back, the optimist might grab a coat and continue onward.
REMEMBER…
Even when the cards seem stacked against us, optimism might be exactly what we need, if only to reshuffle the deck, or give ourselves the best chance to play the hand we’ve been dealt to its greatest outcome.