If you have a pipe leaking in your bathroom, you might search for rags to mop up the collecting water. That’s a good place to start. But when the leak continues and the rags are sodden, the leak needs to be addressed. Over and over again, leaders think we have metaphorical ‘rag’ problems… “we need more rags!” When the truth is, we have to address the leak.

When biological needs like thirst are not met, one will deprioritize high level cognition and creativity (which occur in the neocortex) to respond to the physiological alarm bells ringing in the ‘lower’ levels of the brain (Holding et al, 2019; Steinberg et al., 1997). After all, there is no need to contemplate string theory and muse on the nature of the universe when one is on all fours in the desert, desperate for a drop of water.

The actual neural processes happen with unimaginable complexity at a speed of approximately 340 mph. But you don’t need to be neurologist to understand the impact of this shifting activity, and bring awareness to moments when you are not your most conscious, thoughtful self.

Self-awareness precedes all sustainable behavior change.

Getting stuck is real. It happens in large and small ways, internally and externally. If Bob from accounting was rude to one day, that does not necessarily mean that “Bob is rude”. Bob was rude. But Bob comes with the same unique and complex version of ‘self’ that we all do.

Why do we pigeonhole Bob? Why do we point fingers? Why do we entrench ourselves in accomplishments of the past to ‘prove’ our current worth?

There is a difference between Selective Override and Default Override. As an athlete, it was not a matter of pushing through pain, necessarily – it was more like shutting down the pain and existing as though the pain was not there - overriding the signals my body was sending. But the truth of a body experiencing pain is that it is there, whether or not one is willing to look directly at it. And it’s there for a reason. Shutting it down can be a real problem.

The more often I overrode the pain, the more normal it became. Eventually, it became my default setting. When override becomes the default position, it can cause far more harm than good.

Are you your own harshest critic? Do you hesitate, avoid, or pass up opportunities to start projects for fear of failure?

Do you assume the worst in common interactions, concerned that you will be scolded or fired every time you are called into your boss’ office?

These can be momentary; we all have tough days. If these are consistent – or constant – then it might be interesting to gain an understanding of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD).

How often do we describe a situation before experiencing it? That self-talk influences our experiences. “Steve in accounting is always so difficult” will impact the way you engage with Steve. And “Carol just doesn’t like me” will impact all future interactions with Carol. Steve in accounting might be, in his own way, making efforts to connect that are overridden while his difficulties are highlighted; after all, we have decided that “Steve is always so difficult.”

You don’t have to do it. But if you decide to take a thoughtful path forward, to relieve entrenched expectations and rewire default settings in a way that aligns better with desired outcomes, then keep walking the path.