Advice to an Emerging Leader: Navigating Crabs in a Bucket
Early in my career, when I was still developing as a professional, I was especially sensitive to peer feedback. I had to build more confidence, more proof of concept, and I needed to toughen up a bit. That’s true. But I was also eager to grow and hungry for peer feedback.
It was difficult to see professionals rolling their eyes, pointing fingers at each other, and dissuading me instead of encouraging, supporting, or coaching me. From those ‘naysayers’, there was never a conversation regarding how I could improve. But there was plenty of eye rolling and complaint. I forgive them for it, but as a young professional, it was a genuine challenge.
To be clear, there were also a lot of supportive peers along the way. The organization had a history of success, fantastic employees, and was part of an amazing community. The growth that I ultimately accomplished was due in large part to the support around me.
Still, the naysayers that popped up reminded me of the “crabs in a bucket” theory. The theory refers to the idea that crabs in a bucket at, say, a fish market, will try to climb toward an escape, only to be pinched and pulled back by their peers.
While it’s impossible to psychoanalyze a literal crab, the image is used as a metaphor for the ‘zero sum theory’, referring to the idea that subjective interpretations of social situations subliminally lead to the idea that one person’s gain would lead to another’s loss (Andrews-Fearon & Davidai 2023). In economic games, this is often true. But in human behavior, it does not have to be.
If two people were both trying to get out of a well (like crabs escaping a bucket) it would serve both if one helped the other escape, if only so the person at the rim could offer support back down the well – both, then, could make it out to safety. Humans are stronger together, working communally.
In practice, it does not always happen this way. Understanding the concept does not preclude the fearful to behave with self-preservation in mind. Fear is ubiquitous. Thus, so are pinching crabs.
Keys to Navigating Crabs in a Bucket
Situations like this can appear in all professions – in the classroom, the boardroom, a hospital floor, a firehouse, administrative meetings, personal relationships, and beyond. Social comparison is a primitive drive (Powdthavee, 2014), which means crabs are, unfortunately, unavoidable.
That can be a good thing, if you know how to navigate it.
Believe. You have to believe that in your message, believe that what you have to share is meaningful. Purpose, genuine purpose that aligns with your values, is the strongest fuel in existence. At times it will be the only thing you can trust as you climb. Make your purpose stronger than the crab’s pull.
Keep getting in the arena. You can plan. You can prepare. You can remind yourself of your purpose, imagine possible permutations along the path, try to anticipate the challenges… but eventually you just have to put yourself out there. Don’t be afraid to try new things. After you do, reflect on what worked an what didn’t. Then put yourself out there again. Keeping stepping into the arena.
Be open to feedback. Listen to the crabs, but not too much. Some critical feedback is necessary. This should allow for reflection. Filter through the noise and seek out feedback from people who have your best interest in mind – even if that feedback is hard to swallow. But don’t try to drink from the firehose of fear-based criticism. There will always be crabs. Learn from the good ones, find peers you trust, and maintain healthy distance from the others.
Be grateful. Don’t gloss over the good moments. While it can be easy to linger in frustration, don’t gloss over the support that does exist. Listen. Filter. Find your people and be grateful for them. Be grateful for the opportunity to do meaningful work.
Embrace opportunities to grow. Remember that every challenge has the opportunity to produce positive growth. To use another metaphor from the animal kingdom, note that the struggle of a bird to relieve itself from a shell at birth is the first opportunity for physical and psychological strengthening. The baby bird is stronger for having to struggle against the obstacle of its shell, and better equipped to engage with the next challenge. While it is nice to think that a clear and compelling purpose is enough to drive one to the finish line of their mission, resistance in the other direction can also be fuel. People walking a successful path are moving toward a purpose, but also away from the pulling crabs and other obstacles. They are stronger for doing so.
Finally, once you see the situation clearly, be the traction point for others. A crab climbing the side of a bucket toward freedom might only need a small bit of traction, a minor ledge to hold onto, to accomplish its mission.
As a young professional, a peer of mine, Brian, once told me that he saw me working with a team and mentioned that I had a unique ability to motivate them. That was all I needed. A peer encouraged me, saw something in me, and told me about it. It was that simple. It was a true traction point which, in conjunction with the strength of my purpose as an educator, allowed me to keep climbing.
Fear is natural. Which means there will always be folks out there hoping to keep things the way they are. If they fear, even mildly, for their position in a group, they might be inclined to hold you back. There will always be crabs in the bucket.
Once you recognize what you want to be, and what you don’t want to be, use that to influence the way you interact with other developing leaders. When people begin to work together, to see proof of the concept that collaboration can be mutually beneficial, they are more likely to collaborate in the future. Be grateful for the opportunity. And keep climbing.
References
Andrews-Fearon, P., & Davidai, S. (2023). Is status a zero-sum game? Zero-sum beliefs increase people’s preference for dominance but not prestige. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 152(2), 389–409. https://doi.org/10.1037/xge0001282
Powdthavee, N. (2014). Social Comparison Theory. In: Michalos, A.C. (eds) Encyclopedia of Quality of Life and Well-Being Research. Springer, Dordrecht. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-94-007-0753-5_2740
Różycka-Tran, J., Piotrowski, J.P., Żemojtel-Piotrowska, M. et al. Belief in a zero-sum game and subjective well-being across 35 countries. Curr Psychol 40, 3575–3584 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-019-00291-0