Selective vs. Default Override
“Override” is a state characterized by a numb or limited feeling of emotion and display of affect, which can occur intentionally or unintentionally.
I built an ability to override during my time as an athlete. I played 16 seasons of football and since I was not uniquely talented, my competitive advantage was an ability to outlast people. I could commit more, run farther, train harder, and push through the veil of self-pity to get to the other side of challenge. There were some great rewards on the other side. Overriding my own discomfort served me well, in that setting.
Burning muscles? No problem. I could override physical discomfort. Competitive pressure? All good. I could deny and persist through mental discomfort. A sideways, dislocated finger in the fourth quarter would take me out exactly as long as it took the trainer to pop it back in and tape it up.
At the time, the ability to override seemed like a strength. I developed an ability to switch off my inner dialogue when times were tough. I would turn down the volume on mental and physical discomfort, overriding the signals telling me to stop, to quit, to relax.
It was not a matter of pushing through pain, necessarily – it was more like shutting down the pain and existing as though the pain was not there.
Shutting down. Pretending the pain was not there. Overriding the signals my body was sending.
But the truth of a body experiencing pain is that it is there, whether or not one is willing to look directly at it. And it’s there for a reason. Shutting it down can be a real problem.
The more often I overrode the pain, the more normal it became. Eventually, it became my default setting. When override becomes the default position, it can cause far more harm than good.
What Pain Can Teach Us
The body and mind send signals of discomfort for a reason. Pain lets us know that something is wrong and needs to be addressed. If you break an arm, physical pain will make it clear that the arm needs to be tended to, needs to rest and heal, if only to avoid future damage. Without that important signal, overuse of a broken arm could create further damage until it is no longer functional.
We need to listen to pain and similar feedback from our body. The more in-tune we are, the more accurately we can assess and respond.
“If one does not learn the language of their body, they can bypass the signals and push, generally with the best of intentions, into injury”
Listening to mental and physical signals of distress does not mean anything in particular. Some degree of strain is essential. Consider the SAID principle (Specific Adaptation to Imposed Demand), which identifies the need for stress to maintain healthy functioning of physical and mental systems, to adapt, and to grow (Pearson et al, 2000). If strain is completely avoided, muscles will atrophy and physical health will decline (Pietrangelo & Gokhman, 2019; Booth et al, 2016).
Pain appears along an individualized spectrum of intensity and flavor. The gym provides a great metaphor for this concept: while training, there is a clear difference between a muscle that is burning, exhausted, cramping, strained, or torn. The pain associated with each of those states would be uncomfortable, but the intensity and type of pain would dictate the next best move.
Pushing muscles to the point where they burn can happen a few times over the course of a workout. Be thoughtful but keep going. If the muscles are exhausted, pat yourself on the back then get some food and rest. If the muscles cramp, there is a missing piece in the physical puzzle (degree of strain, dehydration, potassium deficit, etc.) and the new kind of pain will signal the need for a more dramatic and immediate adjustment. Then of course, the pain from a strain or major tissue injury will ring internal alarm bells – the physical priority should immediately shift to healing. Shut it down.
Acute injuries happen, of course. But soft tissue injuries often follow a path, moving along a spectrum of internal pain signaling to guide the user of the machine (you and your body) to adapt. If one does not learn the language of their body, they can bypass the signals and push, generally with the best of intentions, into injury. It is far more cost-effective to listen to your body and rest appropriately than it is to push into injury and an extended recovery.
This process is happening in the mind as well.
Tune in. Listen. Then decide what a thoughtful next step might be. Without operating thoughtfully, being in tune with body and mind, the default settings take over.
Bring Awareness to the Default Settings
When one is aware of their ability to override the pain of a moment, they have the potential to hold the reins on it. They can control it. In this case, when overriding can be selectively enlisted, it can be a useful tool.
I had to override discomfort to make it through two-a-day preseason football practices. After an evening of sleep deprivation, I can override exhaustion to function during the workday. These are moments of selective override. In moments like these, one can evaluate the situation and decide to enlist a skill/strategy to effectively engage in the moment. But only if they are in tune with the language of the body.
Learning this language is key. Recognizing internal states, naming them, and making decisions in their presence – this is the sort of thoughtful processing we should strive for. When it comes to pain, one might selectively turn it down, temporarily, but not off.
It begins with awareness.
Without awareness of the override strategy, it can be difficult to navigate. When it is normalized outside of our consciousness, it can be classified as a default setting (Thaler & Sunstein, 2008; Samson, 2014). We click in to override amid difficult conversations. At work we might override our own needs and endure a day, a week, a career. Default override is a major problem.
Selective Override (Positive Use Case): If the intention is to make it through the final stretch of a long-distance race, selectively overriding discomfort to finish strong would be positive. Selective use of the skill is in alignment with intention.
Default Override (Negative Use Case): If the intention is to connect with your spouse, but when the conversations become challenging you default into an override state, frozen and detached, then connection is lost. Defaulting into the state creates a misalignment with intention.
Substitute a long-distance race for a challenging work project. Substitute challenging spousal conversations with any instance of difficult communication. Bring awareness to moments when you are overriding, across all situations.
Moving Forward
Override is neither good nor bad. Just like work ethic, grit, or physical strength, its quality exists in a relationship between its utilization and intention. That is, if one is able to selectively enlist it. It is ‘good’ to bring awareness to override, ensuring that it is a strategy one selects, rather than a state one defaults into.
Also important to note that override can tag itself in as a trauma response, mostly outside of user control, at least at first. This is referred to as a freeze state and is unfortunately common (Schmidt et al, 2008). When that is the case, bringing awareness to this state is still the best first step, though additional support from a trained therapist might be needed.
“Override is neither good nor bad... its quality exists in a relationship between its utilization and intention.”
One of the final chapters of Richard Schwartz’s book “No Bad Parts” offers a reflection on his time as a football player. Schwartz channeled a variety of childhood experiences and influences to not only override his own discomfort, but turn in into an outward expression of internal angst. He notes that “long after my football career was over, I maintained a desire to run into someone and knock them down,” adding that this state is easy to indulge, since when one is “slightly dissociated, numb, or in [one’s] head, you never have to feel the [negative, but protective] emotions,” (Schwartz, 2021). Missing those emotions means missing the true experience.
Regardless of how it was developed or when it is experienced, override is a defensive state. Becoming aware of it, tuning back in to your body and mind can be scary, since feeling whatever is overridden risks pain. The instinct to defend comes in the presence of vulnerability.
But if you never feel it, you will never truly know what to do with it. You will miss the message.
While future articles will contribute more strategies and methods for tuning in to these moments. For now, begin with two simple steps:
gain awareness over the concept
be present enough to recognize when and where you are experiencing it
Meaningful work always begins with awareness. Awareness can lead to understanding. Understanding leads to intentional behaviors that align with desired outcomes. That’s the track we are on. Stay in touch for more.
References
Booth, F.W., Roberts, C.K., Thyfault, J.P., Ruegsegger, G.N., Toedebusch, R.G. (2016). Role of Inactivity in Chronic Diseases: Evolutionary Insight and Pathophysiological Mechanisms. Physiol Rev. 97(4), p. 1351-1402.
Pearson, D., Faigenbaum, A., Conley, M. et al. (2000). The National Strength and Conditioning Association's Basic Guidelines for the Resistance Training of Athletes. Strength Cond J. 22, p. 14‐27.
Pietrangelo, A., Gokhman, R. (2019). What Causes Muscle Wasting? Heathline, medically reviewed. Retrieved from: https://www.healthline.com/health/muscle-atrophy
Samson, A. (2014). A simple change that could help everyone drink less. Psychology Today. Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/consumed/201402/simple-change-could-help-everyone-drink-less
Schwartz, R. (2021) No Bad Parts. Boulder, CO: Sounds True.
Schmidt, N.B., Richey, A.J., Zvolensky, M.J., Maner, J.K. (2008). Exploring human freeze responses to a threat stressor, Journal of Behavior Therapy and Experimental Psychiatry, (39) 3, p. 292-304.
Thaler, R. H., & Sunstein, C. (2008). Nudge: Improving decisions about health, wealth, and happiness. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.