The Four Horsemen of Culture Collapse
It’s not a mystery: the success of any organization exists in the hands of its people, and best laid plans always fall victim to implementation.
Deliberate cultivation of culture is key. Culture is developed, in part, through routine interactions of people within the organization. Every interaction under an organization’s roof contributes to a shared norm. The way we talk to each other today will influence the way we talk to each other tomorrow. Every behavior – and the response it elicits – normalizes future behavior. It is an organic concept, one that requires regular attention.
Some folks push back on culture development – “just do your job” is a frequent sentiment. Though the request seems straightfoward, those whose motives do not align with company mission are in trouble. One who cannot retain optimism about their peers will find communication difficult, and performance will be challenged. Where there is fear, we find defensiveness and hesitation. But one who exists in a healthy workplace culture, aligned with company objectives and sharing optimism about the future, will often ‘just do their job’ organically.
They might need support. They might need coaching and professional development. But folks in the C-suite are often amazed by the power of updating their cultural norms. According to research from FTSE Russell, companies that make the Fortune 100 Best Companies to Work For list outperform the market by a factor of 3.36… it seems that one can’t afford not to invest in culture.
Edit, then Build
Often, the first step in improving company culture includes the elimination of culture-degrading practices. Before adding more happy-hours and gold-stars, subtract behavioral concerns. To begin this process, it’s worth getting a grip on what those degrading behaviors look like.
The Gottman Institute is “devoted to the discovery of reliable patterns in observational data… to see if there were indeed patterns of behavior, or sequences of interactions, that could discriminate happy from unhappy [relationships]” (Gottman, 2023). Doctors John and Julie Gottman have spent decades researching relationships. Turns out, the interactions that influence marriages also influence relationships between friends, teammates, and coworkers.
The elimination of these negative practices is an essential step in successfully building culture. Before tending to the cracks at the foundation, whatever a company creates will eventually collapse. Fill in the cracks, then build.
The Four Horsemen of Culture Collapse
Adapted from Gottman Institute author Ellie Lisitsa: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, a metaphorical representation of the end of times in the New Testament, serves as a powerful analogy for communication styles that can predict the decline of a company culture.
Criticism
In the corporate realm, the first horseman manifests as criticism. First, know that overt criticism is different than cooperative, constrictive feedback.
We have to be able to name concerns. We must have accountability and we should pursue clarity. But an abundance of critique has been proven to degrade future interactions, especially if it is propelled by a wave of frustration, rather than a shared desire to solve problems.
Constructive feedback addresses specific issues in an objective way (and ideally, optimistic), while criticism becomes an ad hominem attack, often challenging (intentionally or otherwise) an individual's professional character. Constructive communication should simply bring clarity to gaps in expectation and execution.
- Pursuit of Clarity: "Can you help me understand why we did not get the package to the customer by the expected date? We rely on each other's timelines for smooth workflow. How can make sure this doesn’t again?”
- Criticism: “You’ve done it again, missed another deadline.
You just screwed over the other members of the team. You can’t just think about yourself!"
Contempt
According to the Gottman Institute, contempt is the number one predictor of divorce within married couples. Further research suggests that contempt and resentment will, unresolved over time, have a similar effect. In companies, this leads to one of two outcomes: frustration and internal sabotage, or parting ways (quitting or getting fired).
The solution to contempt is open communication. Talk about what happens. Don’t make assumptions, especially about another person’s intentions. Instead, be honest about your feelings regarding situations that unfold, communicate objectively about what happened, and ask questions about why the concerns exist.
The long-term solution for this includes creating a company culture that is optimistic, is in pursuit of clarity and internal alignment, and does not make space for BCD (blaming, complaining, and constantly defending one's actions). A key to this work: don’t talk trash about the people you work with, talk to them with genuine curiosity and an interest in an harmonious resolution.
Defensiveness
Defensiveness (a key factor in the elimination of BCD discussed above) appears for a number of reasons but refers to internal fear. Imposter syndrome is normal. Experience, preparation, and positive self-talk can usually uproot imposter syndrome. But if the culture of a workplace constantly puts people in a guarded position, defensiveness rears its head.
Why is that such an issue? If you are in a place where you constantly need to defend your actions, you will bring that energy to every interaction. You will not be as open to feedback. In discussions, especially regarding difficult topics, you might be rehearsing your response to a coworkers words before a full sentence has left their mouth.
One COO we work with rehearses difficult conversations on his drive in to work every day. Assuming this defensive position limits creative problem solving. It strains relationships. And it limits one’s ability to take responsibility for their actions.
Stonewalling
It’s over. Avoidance has never been a successful way to solve problems. Stonewalling occurs when one or more parties shut off. They stop communicating. This never ends well.
Stonewalling can occur through deliberate avoidance (often fueled by the preceding horsemen), or through physiological overwhelm. The latter seems more and more common, especially in cultures that expect constant availability. Occasionally, workplace demands induce heightened states of fear and readiness, and all the stress hormones associated with those states... necessary while hiking through bear country, but when normalized in modern life, it erodes our physical and mental health. Eventually, we find that people retreat, often in a state of subconscious self-preservation.
The best way to overcome stonewalling is to get ahead of it. Create a culture of open, honest communication. In conversation, be generous, be humble, take accountability, and be willing to jump into the tough stuff together.
In the midst of the 1973 National League pennant race, Yogi Berra coined the phrase "it ain't over till it's over". When people start stonewalling, when they shut down communication, when they stop trying... it's over.
Moving Forward
Identifying the Four Horsemen of culture and relationship collapse is always the first step. Their eradication also demands replacement with positive behaviors. Each horseman has a proven antidote, ensuring a shift towards healthier, more productive communication and conflict resolution in the workplace.
So slow it down. Don't be afraid to revisit the basics. Have enough boldness to engage, and maintain enough optimism to believe that you can work through times toward a brighter future. Take a break when you need to, but come back to it.
Get on the same page regarding Mission, Values, Behaviors and the shared desire for a positive outcome. It will take some hard work. But it will be worth it.
And if you're looking for support along the way, don't hesitate to REACH OUT.